Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
