Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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