I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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