Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
