I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
