she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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