What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
