when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
