somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
