she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
this hospital has no fireball
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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