Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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