1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
