Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
