the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
