new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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