I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
