i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I wear drunk well.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
