There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
