I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
