He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Randomize
