I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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