Where is the hickey?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
