my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
