my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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