Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
