adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
