We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
please come you make the beer taste better
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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