Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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