I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
