did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
