We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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