He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
