I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My vagina just recognized that song.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
