Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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