It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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