Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
