omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
