I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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