I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
