i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
