i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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