I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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