I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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