Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
