I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
