I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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