I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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