Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
