I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
