I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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